First of May

I thought we could all stand around and self-consciously sing ‘The Red Flag’ to celebrate May Day. 

But then I thought it would be more fun to listen to the wonderful Jonathan Coulton. The man dominates my ’25 Most Played’ playlist on my iPhone and looks spookily like my old housemate Danny. 
If you don’t know his stuff, check out his website. There’s loads of free stuff to download and they’re all wonderful. ‘Code Monkey’ is my favourite.  
Be warned that this descends into Not Safe For Work territory rather quickly. Unless you work for Anne Summers or something. 
Does anyone else feel uncomfortable in Ann Summers shops? Everyone else is stood around being very mature and adult about the whole situation. I just revert back to being 14 and just want to laugh, point and shout “Look! Cock rings! Rings! For your cock!”



The People Speak!

I would like to point out that I was not one of the twelve complainants!

Unfortunately, nobody appears to have complained about the Swiftcover adverts on the grounds that they were “rubbish”.

More Iggy Bashing

The charming John Soanes made a very valid point about Mr. Pop here

The thing which amuses/appals me is that as a musician, Mr Pop would find himself very hard-pressed to get insurance from the firm in question, as they’re one of those ‘high risk’ categories of employment.”

So I went to the Swiftcover site and had a look. Here’s what Swiftcover’s terms and conditions say:

“We do not cover drivers working part or full time in:

entertainment, gambling, modelling, professional sports, foreign and diplomatic services, scrap trade and fast food delivery”


At least I’m not banging on about swine flu like the rest of the internet…

First Cases of Fluffy Bunny Flu Reported

First we had Bird Flu. Then Swine Flu came along (Is it not called Pig Flu because there’d be too many flying pig jokes made?).

Now we’re hearing about the first cases of Fluffy Bunny Flu. Symptoms include an adorable wet nose.

The WHO have raised the alert level to four, two steps short of declaring “Rampant Cuteness”.

“At last, a disease we can all really get on board with,” said a Daily Mail spokesman. “It combines just the right levels of scaremongering and feel-good factor. Just look at dem ickle floppy ears. Bad bunny!”

Walt Disney was unavailable for comment.

Winding Your Way Down on Baker Street

As you may know, I was in that sophisticated London on Wednesday for the fabled Twitstunt experiment.

It was one of the weirdest nights of my life and, trust me, I’ve had a lot of weird nights. But in a good way. And I got to meet Lara Greenway, Stevyn Colgan, BrideofChrist, Charles, Sophie and Dan. Good, fun sorts all. But, then, I didn’t get to meet them in the conventional sense of the word. But that was the point. I think.

Anyway, I had to get the tube from Baker Street. I’d been there hundreds of times when I used to work in the City and I suddenly realised that I’d never made the cultural pilgrimage.

Not for Sherlock Holmes. For Dangermouse.

And you know what? There is no post box on Baker Street. Children’s television lied to me! What a right bunch of Brian Cants.

And, anyway, how did Dangermouse make all those death defying leaps? He only had one eye.

Yes. That’s my problem with a programme about a rodent secret agent saving the world from the evil plans of a megalomaniac toad. Depth perception.

Twitter Experiment

I'm currently on the train to London. Yes, I'm accessing the interweb while on a train! Its like I'm freakin' Neo or something!

If you don't already know, five strangers and I are meeting in a secret location for a drink. But, when there, we can only communicate through Tweets.

If you're interested, you can follow our little bijou experiment-ette by searching for #twitstunt.

It looks to be an interesting evening!
Best Regards

Dave Turner

I’m Worth A Million In Prizes

I’d resigned myself to being unappreciated in my time, like Van Gogh or smallpox. But, after years of disappointment with get-rich-quick schemes, this scheme is going to get me rich. And quick.

Worried that you’re paying too much for your car insurance? Confused by all the various credit cards and extortionate loans available?

With hundreds of different price comparison sites advertising on the television, it’s difficult to know which one to use. How do you know which site is giving you the best comparisons?

Well, worry no longer. is the comparison site that compares the comparison sites to give you the best comparison so you don’t have to. Giving you more time to look up old flames on Facebook, only to find hundreds of people with the same name who are far more attractive.

I’m going to have Iggy Pop and Michael Winner jelly wrestling in the adverts. Though I think the slogan “Calm down, dear. It’s only a once revered 60s garage rock icon selling his soul to the devil for a quick buck.” might not be as catchy as I’d hoped.

Who’s going to give me the start-up capital?