Endor: The Dullest Place in the Galaxy

Pictorial Definition of ‘Luke Warm’

That joke was inspired by @nausea18 on Twitter. Go on. Follow him. The man’s obviously a genius.

Sorry about the lack of posts. I’ve been mostly Grand-Moff-Tarkin’ this week. Which is the act of annoying somebody by blowing up their home world.

I’ve also been adventing. Which is the act of shouting at the television when they show Christmas adverts in November.

Sorry. Carry on.

Definition of ‘Awkward’ #2

Children In Need Fact! #1

Pudsey’s bandage hides a flesh wound sustained in a fight with Zombie Clown during a BBC Radio Solent outside broadcast.

Zombie Pudsey now lives in Terry Wogan’s basement and feeds on the brains of Sarah Kennedy’s listeners. He has come close to starvation on several occasions.

Abusing Children In Need’s copyright like this is probably a “Go straight to Hell. Do not collect £200” offence so here’s a link to make a donation. I’m sure you all know that it’s a worthwhile cause.

Have a fun “Enforced Wackiness in the Workplace Day”!

This was inspired by @nausea18 on Twitter.

A Day in the Life of a Stormtrooper

There was one design flaw with the Stormtrooper uniform – Vader could never be sure whether it was Steve who kept calling him a twat.

No Shit, Sherlock

Good quote in the Guardian on Saturday:

“Last week “Jedward” nearly went out only to be saved by Simon Cowell despite his past criticism of their performances, leading to claims that he had put commercial considerations before artistic merit.”

The man who gave us the music of Sinitta, the Teletubbies and Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers? In it for the money rather than artistic integrity?

The man that came to the planet Earth to team up with Stock, Aitken and Waterman and destroy the human race? He’d rather make a quick buck than put something of any worth into this world?

No fucking shit.

The Atheist Advent Calendar

Due to public demand (well, demands from a couple of you), I’ve made you a downloadable Atheist Advent Calendar.

Yes, an advent calendar where every door is empty. LIKE OUR SOULS!!!

advent pic

You will require:

2x White A4 Card



A Responsible Adult

Click on the link below and print the PDF out onto the card.

Yes. Even the blank page. I’m bloody thorough.

Cut the 25 squares on three sides in order to make 25 little doors.

Glue the the picture of the mighty Dawkins onto the blank piece of card.

Open one door every day in December until Christmas Day and stare into the void contained within!


Atheist Advent Calendar


Actually, if you make one could you send in a photograph? It would justify this whole exercise to the Better Half. I promised her a massage last night and then ended up dicking around with this. Or why not subscribe via RSS or email? The buttons are just up there on the left. Nope. A bit higher. Yes, that’s it. Cheers.

I am your dancing monkey.