The Skittlebrau Project

One of the advantages of this blog is that all the pointless crap that I’ve wanted to do now has a point. Now I can indulge in unconstructive activities, injure myself or destroy property and, as long as I haven’t damaged enough of my short term memory to forget to write about it, I consider it a perfectly acceptable use of my time.

So, Gregg and John, today I will be making Skittlebrau.

What’s Skittlebrau? I hear you ask.

Well, dear Reader, Skittlebrau entered my consciousness during this exchange in the Simpsons:

Homer: “I’m feelin’ low, Apu. You got any of that beer that has candy floating in it, you know, Skittlebrau?”
Apu: “Such a product does not exist, sir! You must have dreamed it.”
Homer: “Oh. Well then just gimme a six-pack and a couple of bags of Skittles.”

It’s played on my mind for the last 10 years and now, thanks to you reading this right now, I have an excuse to make it.

I love how the Better Half has resigned herself to this sort of shit going on. This is the conversation as I emptied the shopping bag. She had seen the contents and put two and two together.

Her: Are you making Skittlebrau?

Me: Yes.

Her: Okay. Don’t make a mess.

Reader, I made a mess.

Adding Skittles to beer make beer go boom.

It’s Alive!!! It’s Alive!!!

After a while it settled down.

Pretty, isn’t it?

Then the weird shit started.

I’m Pretty Sure I Saw This Attack The Enterprise Once

Still, what could go wrong? It was beer and sweets together!

Actually, the answer to “what could go wrong?” appears to be “a lot”.

It wasn’t beery enough and it wasn’t Skittlesy enough. It was a mess as a concept. John Torode and Gregg Wallace would’ve laughed me out of the Masterchef kitchen.

I still drank it though. They’d take away my bloke licence if I didn’t.

There is a happy ending to this story. The beer soaked Skittles left at the bottom of the empty glass were an absolute triumph. There’s your new product.

Cheers!

Next week I’ll be attempting Homer’s other great contribution to cusine. Nuts’N’Gum.

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10 Comments

  1. I thought this blog was particularly funny. So much so that I suggested Mr Bucko reads it.
    She has banned me from ever trying this myself. Hmm….

    • I have told the Better Half of this comment. She is now an envious woman.

  2. You should check out Skittles infused Vodka on the Googles.

  3. Ahhh Nuts N’ Gum, together at last.
    I feel that I must thank you for undertaking this scientific research on behalf of all men who can only dream about bringing ideas from cartoons into the realm of real life. We’re through the looking glass here people.

    Good work sir.

  4. If anybody asks me to make this for them at work this week I’m coming for you first…The Simpsons can wait for their kicking….

  5. […] blog site Army Of Dave brings the blue sky thinking of Homer Simpson into the real world via The Skittlebrau […]

  6. This really REALLY begs to try drinking some beer with a mouthful of skittles!

  7. […] 2. The Skittlebrau Project […]


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