15 Albums I’ve Played To Death

It’s been a while since I’ve taken part in a meme and I saw this one over on Anton Vowl’s blog.

The rules are simple. Scribble down, stream of consciousness-style, fifteen albums that you’ve played to death.

Appetite For Destruction – Guns’n’Roses

The first album I can really recall playing to death. I was 12. Loud guitars! Swearing! Sex noises! “This is what music should be about!” I thought.

Nevermind – Nirvana

Luckily, I hit puberty soon after the Guns’n’Roses incident. I opened the NME one day and saw a picture of Nirvana. They looked fucked up. If these guys sounded half as good as they looked, I was in.

Rage Against the Machine – Rage Against the Machine

For “Fuck You I Won’t Do What You Tell Me” please read “Fuck You I Won’t Do My Homework”.

Definitely Maybe – Oasis

Before Oasis became a coked-up, bloated, over-produced behemoth, the first album was awesome. I can still remember putting my worn out tape into my Walkman and strutting to the pub in time to “Rock’n’Roll Star” for some underage drinking.

The Velvet Underground & Nico – The Velvet Underground

Lying drunk on school friends’ floors, listening to ‘Heroin’ and imagining the artistic bohemian future that stretched before me like a big stretchy thing… I am writing this on my lunch break from my IT job. Hold onto your dreams, kids.

August & Everything After – Counting Crows

One of the few albums from this period of my life that I still regularly listen to. ‘Anna Begins’ is the greatest love song ever written. Fact.

In My Tribe – 10,000 Maniacs

I borrowed this from a girl in the year above me after an all night party. I went home at 7 in the morning, played “Verdi Cries” and immediately burst into tears. Sheer bloody poetry.

Document – REM

I obsessed over all the available REM albums in my teens, but this one more than most I remember listening to, pushing the headphones onto my ears in a vain attempt to work out WHAT THE BLOODY HELL MICHAEL STIPE WAS SINGING.

Dookie – Green Day

Back when I actually gave a shit what the NME thought, they had a free tape on the cover and one of the tracks was “Basket Case”. I went out and bought the album.

Like a couple who have drifted apart, I still have not forgiven them for “21st Century Breakdown” and influencing Fall Out Boy.  

Modern Life Is Rubbish – Blur

Learning the guitar is very important to a teenage boy who is not good at sports. You imagine a whole new world of sexual possibilities because you can play the riff to “Smells Like Teen Spirit”. Blur were very helpful in this respect because they used to print the guitar chords along with the lyrics on the in-sleeve.

Did it work? Let’s just say, nobody ever slept with anyone because they could strum “Star Shaped” badly.

The Magic Numbers – The Magic Numbers

When the Better Half and I went on our first holiday together, we foolishly only took two albums with us. One was Gem. This was the less shit option so was played until the CD virtually wore out.

The Bends – Radiohead

Listened to death when I was working in London. My iPod acting as a sonic cocoon during the commute.

Boys And Girls In America – The Hold Steady

The Better Half and I were in the car when ‘Chips Ahoy’ came on the radio. The “Woah!” backing vocals annoyed the Better Half as she just deems this as a get out clause for songwriters when they can’t think of any lyrics.

I immediately went to HMV and bought the whole album. So lyrically dense, with a cast of recurring characters, they stop being songs and become short stories with backing music. And at points, they out-Springsteen Bruce Springsteen.

The 59 Sounds – The Gaslight Anthem

Whereas the Gaslight Anthem out-Springsteen the Hold Steady by simply borrowing lyrics directly from the Boss.

Love, Ire and Song – Frank Turner

This one has appeared on my radar at just the right time in my life. The death of the idealism of youth. And a very nice song about snogging French girls.

Return of the Living Trekkies

Remember I read ‘Night of the Living Trekkies’?

Well, they’ve only gone and made a trailer for it and… well… it’s pretty bloody awesome.

Bloody being the operative word.

I Am Mili-Tron!

The result of the Labour leadership election will be announced today. For those of you unfamiliar with the process,  it’s like deciding which member of Westlife you’d like to punch in the face last.

Here’s the front page of today’s Guardian:

Is it me, but when you splice the Miliband brothers heads together, the result it somewhat like Armando Iannuci?

Which makes me wonder if we’ve all been part of some massive satirical masterplan.


Remember my plan to market Pope balloons because ‘the Pope is inflatable’?

Well, the advertising for it is going really well. In fact, it made the front page of today’s papers:

Hang on. It’s about what?!?


Queen Meets Confused Elderly Man

The Groom Gave His Speech Through The Medium of PowerPoint

I Done a Cartoon

My Business Idea For The Papal Visit

Pope Balloons!!!I’ve even got the marketing slogan:

“The Pope Is Inflatable”

Also: Pope Lighters

Marketing Slogan: “The Pope Is Inflammable”

Who wants in on the ground floor?

How To Get Ahead In Advertising Part 2

Hammer British Drivers?

Personally, I think a system of fines would be more appropriate.

By the way, if Richard Desmond is reading this, I’ve been working on a new slogan for your advertisting campaigns:

‘The Daily Express: Like Talking To A Drunk Arsehole At A Party”

I Know Your Game, Tony

Getting names right is very important. I speak from personal experience.

I guy I know spent years calling me Rob. The first time we met, he called me it and I never corrected him. Before you know it, you’re five years down the line and it’s too late to say anything.

Then, one night, somebody called me Dave.

“Why are you calling him Dave?”

“That’s his name.”

“No it’s not. Tell her, Dave.”


There followed an uncomfortable silence that will last FOR THE REST OF OUR LIVES.

Which brings me to Tony Blair’s memoirs. I was on Amazon and searched on “Journey”. And here are the results:

Perhaps, like those direct-to-DVD films like “Transmorphers” and “The Day The Earth Stopped”, the publishers are hoping for some Glee-based good will or people mistakenly buying the audio book thinking they’ll be getting some harmony laden versions of “Don’t Stop Believin’ (The Inaccurate Intelligence on WMDs)” or “Any Way You Want It (As Long As George W Bush Says It’s OK)”

Actually, I’m reading “A Journey” at the moment. It’s not bad, but I’m not sure about the albino and the claim that he’s a descendant of Jesus.