2010 – A Year In Mediocrity

Ah! The traditional introspective New Year’s Eve blog post! I hope you all had a more than adequate Christmas with well-supervised corporate fun and are looking forward to a decent New Year.

I have been slack recently.

Well, slacker than normal.

For this I apologise, but you will be glad to know that I am in the traditional end of year organisational fervour that normally lasts until the 2nd January.

2010 saw me fail to complete any new writing ‘product’. Now, I’m no expert, but I’m guessing that’s going to hinder a writing career. I’ve started several projects but they all crashed into a wall of self-doubt and neurosis.

I sat myself down in a darkened room and had a long conversation with myself. I wasn’t really listening, so I took myself out for a drink and I was a lot more receptive to what I had to say.

So, I’m writing another project and it feels good. 2011 will see me blogging properly once more and some posts may even have a point. I’d considered setting up a whole new site, but Army of Dave has a lot of good will attached to it. And then I remembered that I’d paid for this domain name and I can’t be bothered to design MORE business cards.

This year, the Army of Dave blog has appeared on the sites of the BBC, Guardian, Times and Telegraph. All of which I have failed to capitalise on.

So the next 12 months are going to see me have a massive push to get some kind of recognition. Don’t get me wrong. I love all of you in a special way and am awfully grateful that you subscribe to this blog in your RSS feed and email or make a daily browser trip to see if my brain has vomited up any poor quality gags. But I’d like even more people to hear/read what I write. And maybe have some of those people give me money for it.

I’ve even bought a personal organiser because I want to put lots of meetings into the diary section.

Yeah. Dave means business. He’s got his game face on. Grrrrr.

Maybe I’ll even start The Novel that I constantly bang on about to everyone.

In the meantime, here are the year’s ten most popular blog posts (Actually, some were written in 2009 but 2010 has been the Year of Velma Dinkley). Enjoy.

10. Something Important Happened Here Today

9. Time Travel – A Beginner’s Guide

8. An Email To Sky

7. The Army of Dave Guide To Voting Etiquette

6. Oh No! It’s An All Time Top 5! Part 5!

5. The Daily Mail Embraces The Internet

4. The Election Night Drinking Game

3. All Time Top 5! Part 3!

2. Am I Really Writing A Blog Post About This?

1. The Leaders’ Debate Drinking Game

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Yeah… Err… I’m Not Sure About This Google Suggestion…

Out of everything available on the internet, that’s what Google suggests.

Not “Army of Dave Star Wars” or “Army of Dave Awesome” but “Army of Dave Nick Griffin”.

Because of the Nick Griffin Drinking Game I shall forever be cyber-linked to that spectacular sack of shit.  

Bugger.

I think I need something sugary to get over this. The Better Half made some gingerbread this week.

Naturally, I “ruined it for everybody”.

Look me in the eye and tell me you would not have done exactly the same thing.

I apologise for the lack of imagination, but my options were limited as somebody (possibly Kid A) had made their way through most of the vowels.

But, later on, I think the biscuits were trying to tell me something:

(This picture actually made me sad and I’ve been unable to eat one since.)

And. Yes. I google my own blog’s name.

A Cartoon About Death

More WikiLeaks Revelations

Movember – Can I Have My Face Back Now?

And so Movember has drawn to a close. The moustache has been washed down the plug hole, half-forgotten like an embarrassing drunken memory. My face is barren and uninteresting.

You amazing people were generous enough to help me raise £130 for the cause and I really can’t thank you enough. You are all awesomely awesome.

Especially you. You’re my favourite x

I’ll probably do it all again next year. You never know, I might have hit puberty by then.

The Mo’ney Shot

(Sorry about the lack of posts recently. I’ve been having all sorts of computer problems. Then again, you’ve probably been thankful I haven’t been clogging up your inboxes/blog feeds with rubbish.)