The Router All Evil

I haven’t been blogging.

My wireless router died a horrible death.

My ISP sent me a new one.

I decided to re-name it.

I am a child.

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The Daily Mail Needs You!

The Daily Mail is currently recruiting journalists for a training course:

“Britain’s most successful newspaper group is offering would-be reporters and writers an exciting and challenging yearlong training course, plus the chance to work at the Daily Mail and Mail Online

We are looking for bright, sharp, intelligent writers who believe they can be fast-tracked to the very top

You’ll be on the best journalism course in the business – and be paid a competitive salary while you train

Successful applicants will probably have completed post-graduate journalism training or had experience working in newspapers.

Apply by February 21, with your CV, 200 words on why you think you could be a Mail journalist, a 200-word news story and a selection of up to six cuttings and send to Sue Ryan, Trainee Reporters’ Scheme, Daily Mail, Northcliffe House, 2 Derry St, London W8 5TT. Please send queries to sue.ryan@dailymail.co.uk”

Steven at Enemies of Reason has put together a witty, intelligent and well-researched application which you can read here. Other bloggers have done the same.

As you know, I don’t do witty, intelligent or – heaven forbid – research, so here’s something I threw together:

Apple To Update iPhone Keyboard…

…To reflect changes in modern grammar.

The Rebel Alliance Finally Bought PowerPoint

Dear Top Gear…

First of all, I didn’t think you had to apolgise to the Mexican nation. It’s nacho problem, it’s theirs.

While I was looking around the interweb, I came across the photograph of the Top Gear presenters:

“Hang on. You could probably hollow them out and put one inside the other,” I thought to myself.

And then it me. I know how much you like your merchandising. Four words for you.

Top Gear Russian Dolls.

(Assume Clarkson voice) “But that’s the worst idea…. In the world!” I hear you cry.

I was taught that when life gives you lemons, make visual aid. So here’s a mock up:

Richard goes into James. James goes into Jeremy. This is not – in any way – an attempt to start an internet rumour.

I await my royalty cheque. Or, failing that, could you call into the Blue Peter office and get me a badge?

All the best

Dave x

Apparently…

… I am ‘FHM Approved’

And people said I’d need bigger tits…

Historical Fact!

Stonehenge was actually a giant game of Jenga built to appease the “Party Gods”