Army of Paul: Part Deux


You look lovely today. Is that a new blouse/shirt/haircut?

Do you remember that I wrote last week that my brother has an opportunity to have his design on the new Adam Duritz album?

You have been brilliantly nice about his work, ‘liked’ his design on Facebook and it’s currently the second most popular.

Apparently Adam Duritz gets final say on what design will be used, but YOU the consumer can make your voice heard.

The final front and back designs of the covers have been loaded up to Facebook and if I could ask for your indulgence and please just click your mouse one last time?

First, you need to go here and ‘Like’ the Counting Crows page. (Again, nobody will judge you).

Then go here and click on Paul’s visions of loveliness. They’re numbers 10 & 11.

I’ve just found out that the winner will get a write up in the Wall Street Journal. To be honest, it would be nice for a member of the Turner family to feature in a newspaper without the words “serious incident” somewhere in the article.

Thanks, m’dears.


Ready? Jedi? No!

I am a geek. This is well documented. Army of Dave has been referred to as a “geek blog”.

I have an iPhone, laptops, netbooks and lust after an iPad 2 because I hear that the new iPad processor is powered by the judgment of others.

Last weekend, I overheard Kid B groaning “I EAT BRAINS!!!” and it was the proudest day of my life.

I like science which, thanks to Brian Cox, is now more popular. Hipsters in Shoreditch tell each other “I was into theoretical physics way before it was cool.”

So far, so geeky.

You’ll all be thinking that I’ll be putting “Jedi” as my religion on the UK census form, right? But you would be wrong.

Sure, we all ask ourselves the big questions from time to time, as we lie awake at night wondering if we’re all merely figments of Charlie Sheen’s imagination, but I will be ticking “No Religion”.

Campaign groups say that if those of no faith tick “Christian” out of habit, or write down comedy answers, this will mis-report the number of religious people in the country and this will affect how the government handles related policy.

But there are bigger theological matters.  

I’ve been having a crisis of faith since the Star Wars prequels and I don’t think “Lapsed Jedi” is an acceptable answer to write. I’d considered alternatives, but they didn’t go down well. You say you’re writing “Jedi” on the census and some people think it’s funny. I said that I was going to put “Sith” and suddenly I’M the bad guy.

More importantly, if everyone puts “Jedi” as their religion, the government will use this as evidence that there are enough Big Society volunteers and cut funding currently ring-fenced to fight the Galactic Empire.

If that happens and we all find ourselves working in the spice mines of Kessel, I’ll know who to blame.

Army of Paul

I have a brother. His name is Paul. He got the looks, brains and talent while I got male pattern baldness and the supernatural ability to write crap knob jokes.

We both have a love of the emotional and psychological train wreck that is the work of Adam Duritz, lead singer of my favourite band Counting Crows.

Mr Duritz is currently running a competition on Facebook to design the cover for his new solo album. Paul’s work has been shortlisted.

You can see where this is going can’t you?

He’s currently fighting for your love over on Facebook. Quite simply, the design with the most *Likes* wins.

Our mum would be very grateful and proud if you could please go and *Like* Paul’s entry.

First, you need to go here and ‘Like’ the Counting Crows page. (Nobody will judge you).

Then you need to go here and ‘Like’ Paul’s picture. It’s the 10th one listed.

Here’s a preview of it so you know what you’re looking for:

Seriously. Speaking as a Counting Crows fan, not as a very proud big brother, this is the winner for me.

Paul’s got a wonderful young family that he works hard to support, but he has dreams. We all do. If we can get one of us a little bit closer to those dreams today, then we can all go to bed tonight feeling a little bit better about ourselves.

Go on. Vote for it and then you can go and have that chocolate Hob Nob.

That’s it for now. I *ahem* appear to have something in my eye…